WanderingAmylessly 2.0

I subscribe to a joke of the day e-mail, which always goes directly to my spam junk mail folder at work. Fitting. Like we'd dare to laugh on the job. But I digress. Not sure I laugh much, anyway, when reading these jokes. They're fairly hideous. But today I giggled. Maybe you will too. Will and Jane were watching their Denver TV station weatherman giving the forecast one cold winter evening. The weatherman said, expect 10 to 12 inches of snow tonight so park on the right side of the road so the city can plow the left side. Will ran out and parked on the right side. The next week the forecast called for another 10 to 12 inches of snow, but this time the weatherman said park on the left side. So Will ran out and parked the car on the left side of the road. The following week the forecast was for 16 inches of snow expected, then the lights went out and all our power was lost. Will said, my goodness, now I don’t know where to park the car. Jane said: “Why don’t you just leave it in...

My recent work trip took me to a place where I got a glimpse into how work life could be. Should be. Now I want my counterparts in the other office to adopt me. Can I transfer? No. Probably not. Highly unlikely. Who am I kidding. No chance in hell. Still. It's nice to dream.

It's that time of year -- summer vacay!!! My first trip of the season had elements of both work and play. I traveled to San Antonio, working in my company's office there for two days and spending evenings and a Saturday seeing the sights (Alamo, Riverwalk, Mexican market, and mucho mucho margaritas and guacamole). The next bit of traveling in our family won't involve me. Tim and Henry are having a boys' getaway to the Rocky Mountains. I'm not sure exactly what all they'll do, but it will involve camping for at least four nights in a place that doesn't have showers. I'm sure they'll have fun; truthfully, I'm not totally broken up that I have to work and miss all the excitement. We have to wait until later in July to all go someplace together, but it'll be worth it. SAN DIEGO, baby! SeaWorld, Legoland, Wild Animal Park, Aircraft Carrier Museum, the BEACH, and on and on. Cannot wait. We're staying in Escondido, near the animal park and centr...

I baked a chocolate cake with white frosting, two layer round, for my coworker's 60th birthday. He's a huge sports fan -- used to cover the Green Bay Packers as a reporter for the Milwaukee paper back in the day. And he has season tickets to Iowa Hawkeyes football. So I decorated it like this...

Here is an extended obituary about my friend who passed. What a great story. What a great lady. Click here.

Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth. Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself. Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here. Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you. -- Nancy Wood ***************** All goes onward and outward, Nothing collapses And to die is different from What anyone supposes And luckier. -- Walt Whitman ***************** Mourning is the constant reawakening that things are now different. -- Stephanie Ericsson ***************** Do not stand at my grave and weep. I am not there. I do not sleep. I am a thousands winds that blow. I am the diamond glints on snow. I am the sunlight on ripened grain. I am the gentle autumn rain. When you awaken in the morning's hush I am the swift uplifting rush Of quiet white doves in circled flight. I am the soft stars that shine at night. Do not stand at my grave and cry. I am not there. I did not die. -- Hopi Prayer

A woman from my church died last week, probably from a heart attack. I didn't know her well, but that didn't matter to her. She was one of those people who'd hug a total stranger, flash a smile, tell a joke, giggle like a schoolgirl (even though she was probably in her eighties). She always had a good morning hug for me on Sundays, or when we'd see each other at Covenant Group (think Bible Study without the Bible; think therapy without the psychology degrees). We're having a memorial Covenant Group meeting tonight to say goodbye and share our memories and thoughts. I'm going to talk about her smiles and hugs, about her fantastic way of finding the extraordinary in the everyday. I'm going to talk about her attitude, a very "oh what the heck, let's give it a whirl" way of barreling through life. She wasn't afraid to be silly or emotional or whimsical. She wasn't afraid to laugh, maybe even laugh at herself at times. I plan to share an ess...

I may not be motivated to exercise, but I've been in the mood to knit -- all the time -- lately! I'm currently knitting my second baby cardigan, this time in buttery yellow instead of green. They have potential owners, too...a set of twins due later this year to a coworker friend of Tim's! I'm also waiting on a delivery of Lion Brand Yarn from my friendly neighborhood UPS driver. I ordered a yarn kit for a "Sunshine Day Baby Throw." (You can find the pattern under free knitting patterns for babies on the site. You have to register to see the patterns, but registration is free and easy.) Super simple pattern (although I'm going to do something different with the edges to keep them from rolling up) and fab colors. Who wouldn't love a blankie made from hues called duckie, sweet pea, aqua, pinkpoodle, berrylicious, lime, seaspray, berry, blossom, and maize? This will be a new technique for me though: knitting with two strands of yarn at once. Each stripe ...

I can't seem to make myself work out. Several weeks ago, I had a brush with medical disaster, when an attempt to tie my tubes using a new procedure failed miserably. I was in pain and without any birth control method, after they'd yanked my IUD to do the new procedure which, I'd like to remind you again, FAILED MISERABLY. So they gave me a shot of depoprovera, which is bc that lasts 3 months. That's great and convenient, if you don't have bipolar disorder. If you DO have BiPD, get ready for 3 months of lethargy, sadness, and the munchies. I didn't realize the mood changes would be so drastic or mentally painful, but I guess adding high-powered drugs that change one's hormonal reactions might have that effect. My weight loss and my workout routine have suffered. I can't seem to get motivated to run or bike or even just walk. I walked once on Saturday and I went to spin class on Monday. Other than that, my life has been too sedentary. And filled with too m...

Shhh. Do you hear that? Among the chirps and whirrs and beeps? Yep. It's the sound of our kid's brain slowly becoming more squishy and gushy, quietly rotting away. But wait, you say...he just finished kindergarten! Today was his last day! Isn't his cranium bursting with knowledge?! That may be true, but we gave him a "graduation from Kindergarten" gift that would probably make a child psychologist cringe. We bought him a Nintendo DS. He had been saving his allowance to buy it, but we thought it would be a nice end-of-year surprise. The deal is, he can use his earned money to buy another game for it (it came with a Mario and Luigi something-or-other) and the rest of his allowance has to go in his savings account. He played the thing for about 4 hours straight yesterday during the drive home from St. Louis. He played again this a.m. And he's playing right now because school got out early and I'm allegedly working from home until 4. We've told him that on...

Yesterday I was up at 4 because I couldn't sleep. Today I was up at the same time because I had to be. I'm working a 6-2ish shift today so we can zip away quick for our trip to the inlaws this afternoon. I went to bed before 9 last night, but wow, I'm not sure there's enough coffee in Iowa to keep me awake. Tim will be my designated driver this afternoon. Maybe I'll take a nap on the way. On a positive note, most everything's packed. The dogs will be off to the puppy spa in a few hours. It will be Eisie's first extended stay at the doggy B&B. Mags was eyeing me funny this a.m. when I was putting the finishing touches on my suitcase contents. She knows something's up. Now it's just killing time -- and slamming out editing assignments -- in the next 7 hours.

Only two more days and Henry will have made it through his entire first year in public school without ever eating school lunch. Which means Mom has packed a significant number of sack lunches in his Star Wars lunch pail since August. I'm so bored with his lunch. He seems fine with it. He's never encountered a peanut butter sandwich he wasn't wholly in love with. Which is good because he doesn't like much of anything else. Sometimes I get really wacky and make turkey baloney instead. or even ham and cheese. But no mayo, please, just plain bread, and if I'd cut the crusts off, that'd be the best. Along with the sandwich, there's usually some chips or crackers, a piece of fruit, a juice box, occasionally a package of string cheese, and dessert (usually fruit snacks because ALL the cool kids at school bring fruit snacks -- *sigh*). Once in a while, when I just can't stand the monotony anymore, I whip up some mac and cheese and plop it in his Thermos containe...

I can't sleep. It's 4:30 a.m. I've been up for half an hour. Earlier in the night I got up twice with the dogs, who must sleep all day and think nighttime is the right time to par-tay. I'm thinking of cleaning out my car. It's filled with assorted Happy Meal toys and books and trash and winter clothing that never got scooped out before it turned hot. I could also read or knit or pack H's lunch or write dull blogs about how I can't sleep and the dogs are driving me nuts. Since I'm wide awake, I'm making coffee. Can't make the situation any worse. And at this point, if I'm going to make it through the day, I need liquid assistance. Otherwise, I'm crashing at about 2:30 this afternoon. I'll leave you with these stats: The prevalence rate of insomnia: approximately 1 in 8 or 11.76% or 32 million people in the United States. Among the group of adults facing this disorder, more than 90 percent of them say that they are more prone to accid...

I found a new dress at Dress Barn to wear to the anniversary dinner on Saturday night. Love the bolero-style jacket. Makes me look like I actually have a waist! And best part: more than half off!!

Yesterday I heard sad news. Al Gore and Tipper, his wife of 40 years, are separating. My first thought: what did that pig do? Who'd he cheat with? But maybe they just grew apart, what with him being so busy winning Nobel Prizes and Grammys and inventing the Internets and all. She was off slapping naughty-word warnings on heavy metal albums. Busy folks. Relationships are tough to keep fresh. But still, after 40 years -- 4 whole decades -- they're throwing in the towel? They've been married longer than I've been alive. They've dealt with sick kids and presidential scandals and DUBYA together. I would've thought it made them stronger, not pushed them apart. They insist that the separation is mutual and friendly. I am dubious. It's nice to know, though, that during this week of sad marital news, there's some happier times to celebrate. I know a couple who has made it a whole decade more than Al and Tipper, and they're still going strong. My inlaws, Paul ...

In her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, written by a U.S. resident, and posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative: Dear Dr. Laura: Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination ... End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them. 1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexic...

Daily Activity LogDaily Log Detail Incident # 002010026896 Time Reported 5/31/2010 9:02:00 AM Disposition K Location 1718 Lakeside Dr Common Name Activity 02900 : Criminal Mischief Officer 00000059 Details tan 97 toyota avalon car window was shot out overnight

I'm a little bit jumpy. And with good reason. I live on a street where people shoot out the back window of your car. That's reason enough to be on edge. Then, last night around 9 p.m., I started smelling smoke wafting through the house. At the same time, through the open windows, I heard several neighbors talking about the smell and suggesting that the vacant foreclosure house might be on fire. Within a couple minutes, every fire engine in town was lined up on our street, lights blazing. Firefighters in full gear were wandering the neighborhood, trying to figure out where the smell was coming from. They never did figure it out. But nothing burst into flames, so they left. Personally, I think maybe several people had their grills going at the same time and created a stronger odor than usual. I did speculate that the fire, when we thought it actually WAS a fire, had something to do with the fact that the guy who used to live there IS a firefighter. Maybe someone was messing with ...