WanderingAmylessly 2.0

A quarter of a century ago. That was the last time I prepared for fall college classes. I barely remember it. I'm sure I bubbled over with anxiety, as I bought textbooks and decorated an off-campus apartment with dorm leftovers, restocked the backpack and steeled myself for the final steps on the path to grownup life. I wish I would have slowed down to enjoy it. I put so much pressure on myself. I had a thousand pounds of worry strapped to my soul. What if I fail my last classes? What if I pass but can't find a job post-graduation? What if I get a job and am horribly unqualified and unprepared? What if nothing spectacular happens? What if worry is all I have, always? I look back and let out a sigh of relief and release. I wish I could shout back at my 20-something self: It works out! You survive! Did the fretting and tears and hand-wringing help? Not sure. They gave me an ulcer and boatloads to unpack with a therapist. Mostly they got in the way; they kept me from savoring

More than four years ago, the blog and I parted ways. I needed a change. A whole lot happened in my world since then. I switched jobs a couple times. My kid went from an elementary school tween to a teenage high schooler. We built a new house and moved. Both my parents and my sister have passed. The world around me changed as well. Mass shootings, racism, the #metoo movement, a misogynistic bigoted narcissist in the White House ... go ahead, add to the list. Toss your woes into this dumpster fire we call 2019.  I appreciate my previous sentiment, that I was no longer wandering. But let's be honest, we're all trying to find our way through this mess. I decided to reboot the blog to give myself a creative outlet, a way to sort through the confusion and frustration and attempt to make sense of it all. I have a voice, and I'm not keen to silence it anymore. Guess what? I'm back, bitches.