WanderingAmylessly 2.0

FARMER KILLED BY FALLING COW ZAGREB (Reuters) - A Croatian farmer was killed when a cow he was about to milk fell and crushed him, local media reported Tuesday. The unfortunate 61-year-old farmer, from the village of Cadjavacki Lug in central Croatia, went into the stable where his family keeps nine cows, as he had every morning for the past 20 years, the Vecernji List newspaper reported. "I think he slipped, grabbed the milking machine and knocked it over. That must have frightened the cow, which slipped and fell on top of him," his distraught daughter-in-law, who was in the stable with him, told the daily. "It took me and the rest of the family almost three minutes to get the cow off him." She said the cow, named Lara, had been very meek and that even children could milk her without fear. The newspaper did not say what had become of the cow.

10. Popcorn Tuesdays. 9. A staff meeting employees actually look forward to. 8. 3rd quarter earnings announced..."even better than expected" 7. I'm once again following AP Style, not Chicago!!! 6. Winter holiday company-wide shutdown. 5. Free parking. 4. I get my own office. 3. Someone is in charge!(Those of you at my previous job will get a particular kick out of that one.) 2. The computer guy allows me to be "administrator" of my computer. (Ditto the previous parenthetical info) 1. Three words: CORPORATE CREDIT CARD

time hangs like lead weights on eyelids open 12 hours I surrender now

It's too hot to blog anything original. Top Ten Signs It's Too Damn Hot (originally aired August 2004) 10. It's so hot, Tom Ridge raised the terror alert to "Sticky" 9. It's so hot, drug dealers are selling something called "Iced Crackuccino" 8. It's so hot, Michael Moore's making a new movie, "Fahrenheit 98 and Humid" 7. It's so hot, Randy Johnson is demanding a trade to Montreal 6. It's so hot, Jennifer Lopez just got engaged to Slush Puppy 5. It's so hot, delicious hot pockets are now simply referred to as "pockets" 4. It's so hot, Martha Stewart just got an inside tip on air conditioners 3. It's so hot, even Ralph Nader's campaign is showing traces of heat 2. It's so hot, Courtney Love has an excuse for being disoriented and unintelligible 1. It's so hot, hookers are charging 50 dollars just to blow on you

There once was a cyclist named Lance Who rode 'round the world in tight pants He won a seventh tour Becoming legend for sure But I'd like to forget if given the chance. My husband spent hours in reverence I know to many it doesn't make sense On a hundred-mile ride he's been In a heat index of one-hundred ten The intensity has made him quite dense. Tim will watch tour coverage for hours From high mountains to fields with sunflowers His eyes on the jersey of yellow Cheers for the cancer-surving fellow It's over...let's hit the showers. I hope Lance and his hoopla disappear He'll retire with smiles, no fear. He'll have great fame and Sheryl And a lifetime of Nike apparel To give the regular guys chances next year

The first morning of my new job, I woke up excited. No apprehension. No second thoughts. No nerves. By the middle of the second day, I had been through several hours of orientation, moved into my new office, started ordering supplies, met the staff, and pitched in on an office project. At the end of day three, I came home exclaiming that "I love my job! I really love my new job!" At the end of day four - today - I started wondering...so when's it all going to fall apart? I hope this isn't just some fluke. That I'll walk into the building on my fifth day and it'll somehow be different, like the honeymoon will be over, and my new co-workers will decide to stop sucking up to me and show their true colors. Can it be? Can it really be that I've found the job I always thought didn't exist? The one where people work as a team. The one where management shows great leadership yet eagerly accepts employee feedback and suggestions for improvement. The one where e...

My 21-month-old has a growing list of favorite words. He loves saying "truck." In fact, he calls everything on wheels a truck. That is, unless it's a bus, a tractor, a Jeep, or a dohder (which deciphered from little guy speak, means bulldozer). The other day, he saw a person who uses a wheelchair and his eyes got big with excitement, he pointed and said "ooooh. truck." Another word he loves is doggie, or the variation "buppie", which means, of course, puppy. The word NO is always a hit. Not when we say it, mind you, but he's a big fan when it's being shouted at the top of his own lungs. He even has a few words we haven't quite put with an object yet. One sounds like "deedoobott". If you can translate, please do! But his truly most favorite term has to be the classic... Uh-oh. Takes shovel after shovel of sand from his sandbox and dumps it onto the grass. Uh-oh. Slowly and methodically turns his sippy cup upside down and spills its...

As the new Dukes of Hazzard movie opens, a former congressman expresses outrage. His name? Cooter. ATLANTA, Georgia (AP) -- A former star of the "The Dukes of Hazzard"TV show is urging fans to skip the forthcoming movie version, calling it "a sleazy insult." Ben Jones, a former Georgia congressman who played the wisecracking mechanic Cooter on the popular series from 1979 to 1985, said profanity and sexual content in the film make a mockery of the family-friendly show. "Basically, they trashed our show," said Jones, who read a script of the Warner Brothers movie, which is scheduled to be released next month. "It's one thing to do whatever movie they want to do, but to take a classic family show and do that is like taking 'I Love Lucy' and making her a crackhead or something." Yeah. Really family friendly, those Dukes. • Daisy Duke wore shorts so short, you could see her uterus. And she was spilling out the top of her shirt. What isn...

For grins and giggles, check out the shoptwistedsisters.com web site. It features gift items for those...um...hard to buy for folks. Like the ones who would covet "Catholic School Salt and Pepper Shakers" or a "Trailer Trash Doll". How about a t-shirt that says, "Can't sleep. Clowns will eat me." Or a "Flamingo Lamp." Maybe a baby onesie that says, "Chicks Dig Me" (my kid shoulda had one of those!). I'm personally in love with the tee that says, "Mommy took her medication today!" Happy shopping.

102 degrees fahrenheit 65 percent humidity 90 minutes 26 different contortions A room full of masochists $15 for the privilege of being there It might, at first read, sound like something your wholesome family values would not want to know anything about. It's actually an increasingly popular form of exercise. Or punishment. Or insanity. Or pick your own descriptive word. It's Bikram Yoga, also known familiarly as "hot yoga." It is described on our local yoga studio's website like this: ...A hatha yoga based system designed to stretch, strengthen and rejuvenate the entire body, and reduce stress and tension. This 90-minute class consists of a series of asanas (postures) and pranayamas (breathing exercises) practiced in a heated room. The purpose of the heat is to promote cellular metabolism, detoxification and suppleness of the muscular system. This magic formula combined with a regular practice brings rapid improvement in body shape, fitness, overall health and ...

At the last movie I went to, I watched a preview for an upcoming flick that seemed silly at first. Then the more I started thinking about it, the sadder I felt. It's supposed to be a comedy; if the main character were a real person, I'm guessing he wouldn't think it was very funny. The movie, due out later this year, is "The 40-Year-Old Virgin." They made the main character seem nerdy and goofy and inept. And I'm guessing that they might also hint at the notion that being a virgin at his age might make him freakish, an anomaly, darn near a leper. (When in actuality, most women would relish the fact that he's the last available man on the planet with whom she could truly have safe sex.) I'm guessing that most people would think I'm maybe thinking too much about this work of fiction. But at a time when kids are losing their virginity at an alarmingly early age, I found it quite disheartening that the entertainment industry and the media that cover it...

From a collection of stories about the Differences Between Men and Women ... Here it is nicely illustrated: Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else. And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: ''Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?'' And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn...

My husband's obsessed. It's all Tour de France, all the time in our house until at least July 24 when Lance Armstrong will win for the seventh time in a row and we'll have to hear a zillion times about how he overcame nearly unbeatable odds, losing a testicle, beating cancer, developing into a cycling legend, and bedding a rocker babe named Sheryl. Blahblahblahblah. (nevermind the fact he still had enough cajones to abandon his wife and become an absentee dad to three beautiful children so he could suck face with Ms. Crow on the Champs Elysee on international television...) Anyway, watching all this cycling got me thinking about body hair. Cyclists shave their legs so they can become even more aerodynamic and shave thousanths of a second off their time. Does it really make a difference? I mean, really, unless you look like an ape, I can't see the need. Same with swimmers. I was reading an article about how someday, men shaving their legs, chests, backs, etc, will be as...

Today is my very last day at my current job. Then I have a week and a half off before starting corporate life. I found it quite amusing and very appropriate this morning to find out that today is: NATIONAL WORKAHOLICS DAY.

I read something in the profile description of sweetlethe at sweetlethe.blogspot.com that made me go WOW. I love this. I had no idea who sweetlethe was before I happened upon her site randomly. Now it's bookmarked and I visit several times a week. She's from Canada, is a former journalist, does body painting as a hobby (there are some really amazing pics on her site of some of her recent work), and has a way with words that makes me think if I knew her in real-time, I'd either be jealous as hell of her or we'd be best pals. At any rate, she uses this in her profile: Passion is taking such a bite out of life that when the juices run down your face, everyone licks their lips. Amen.

I remember the SchoolHouse Rock song, "...I'm just a bill...sitting here on capitol hill..." But did SHR have a song to teach youngsters about supreme court justices? Don't think so. Well, this is my attempt at educating the masses. Make up your own tune and rhymes if you'd like. Chief Justice William Rehnquist - Reagan Appointee chief/Nixon Appointee court Justices: John Paul Stevens - Ford Appointee Sandra Day O'Connor - Reagan Appointee Antonin Scalia - Reagan Appointee Anthony Kennedy - Reagan Appointee David Souter - Elder Bush Appointee Clarence Thomas - Elder Bush Appointee Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Clinton Appointee Stephen Breyer - Clinton Appointee

I threatened, after the last election, to pack up and move my family to Canada. I thought I might not be able to stomach another four years of Cowboy Dubya Dumbunny. Now, we're facing an even more uncertain future. Beware. Soon the government's eyes will be back in your bedroom, in your doctor's office, scanning your bank account and phone records and library card checkouts. Stay tuned for As the Court Turns...Over. We dems thought, "Oh well, we can handle another four years. It's only four years, then we can get someone in office who will take care of us, someone who won't keep hiking our national debt, someone who won't deplete our social security funds, someone who knows how to read and write and speak like he passed the sixth grade." Only four years. But I'm not sure we can survive, now that Sandra O'Connor decided to retire from the U.S. Supreme Court. The voice of reason is leaving. And the chief justice, in poor health, is soon to follo...