Thanks to Letterman

It's too hot to blog anything original.

Top Ten Signs It's Too Damn Hot
(originally aired August 2004)

10. It's so hot, Tom Ridge raised the terror alert to "Sticky"

9. It's so hot, drug dealers are selling something called "Iced Crackuccino"

8. It's so hot, Michael Moore's making a new movie, "Fahrenheit 98 and Humid"

7. It's so hot, Randy Johnson is demanding a trade to Montreal

6. It's so hot, Jennifer Lopez just got engaged to Slush Puppy

5. It's so hot, delicious hot pockets are now simply referred to as "pockets"

4. It's so hot, Martha Stewart just got an inside tip on air conditioners

3. It's so hot, even Ralph Nader's campaign is showing traces of heat

2. It's so hot, Courtney Love has an excuse for being disoriented and unintelligible

1. It's so hot, hookers are charging 50 dollars just to blow on you

Comments

Holy Separated-At-Birth, Batman!

Gary Oldman...meet Uncle Knit-Knots from Imagination Movers.

Hair

This has become the age-old question...Why do men hate short hair on women? I've been thinking about this a lot because my current style, an angled bob, requires a bunch of fussing every morning to get it to do anything. My favorite haircut of all time, as far as ease of care, was my pixie cut. I loved that I could wash it, gel it, and be done. No blow drying or flattening or curling. Just gel and go. Very sporty. I thought it looked cute. My husband has another opinion. The longer the better is his motto. Thing is, my hair becomes an unruly, tangled, nappy mop when it gets long. If I had all the time in the world and Jennifer Aniston's budget, I'd be more than happy to grow it long and have others style it every day. In real life, I guess I'd rather go for comfort and convenience. And if you ask me, I think the pixie is dang cute. I suspect heterosexual men aren't hot on short hair, in general, because it's too much like their own hair. No matter how much jewel

Ho, Ho, Ho, How Many Times Can I Use "I'm too busy" as an Excuse?

I haven't had time to write. Work, swim meet volunteering, holiday decorating and shopping. But truthfully, I've not been in much of a mood to write anything anyway. Last night we put up the tree and Santa chachkies, and I drank my first egg nog of the season, so perhaps I'll be in a cheerier mood. Also, I have spent some time writing the annual Schoon holiday newsletter. If you happen to get a copy, treat it like a drinking game. Every time I make you roll your eyes, take a drink. Nog, wassail, Everclear. Whatever gets you through. One sure way to assist with merriment motivation is listening to Christmas carols. I'm not going to get into a debate over what truly constitutes a carol. You can "Jesus is the reason for the season" yourself until you turn blue; I generally lean toward the secular end of the holiday tune spectrum. And if you just gasped at my use of holiday instead of Christmas, go suck on a candy cane. It's my blog and my opinions. Deal.

WanderingAmylessly 2.0

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