Skip to main content

It' s like the whole state got Febreezed

Sniffsniffsniff. What's that smell?

What? You smell nothing? (Besides the putrid odor of stagnant, sewage-filled flood water) You can breathe deeply, secure in the knowledge that pesky carcinogens aren't hightailing it to your bronchial tubes?

Yes, readers. Rejoice. July 1 has arrived. The day Iowa goes smoke-free.

Well, theoretically.

Starting today, it is illegal to light up in the following:
Bars; restaurants; restaurants' outdoor seating areas; financial institutions; public and private educational facilities; health care provider locations; laundries; schools; public transportation facilities, including buses and taxicabs, and the ticketing, boarding and waiting areas of these facilities; reception areas; aquariums, galleries, libraries and museums; retail food production and marketing establishments; service establishments; retail stores; shopping malls; entertainment venues, including theaters, concert halls, auditoriums and other similar facilities or sports arenas; polling places; convention facilities and meeting rooms; waiting rooms; public buildings and places of public assembly owned, leased or operated by the state; private residences when used as child care facilities or health care provider locations; and child care facilities


Being a former smoker, I appreciate not only not having second-hand smoke invading my personal space (and that of my family) but also the fact that it won't be around to tempt me as much. It's gross yet addictive, which makes it, uh, grosser. And expensive - something like $5 or $6 a pack in town. If you get caught puffing in public now, you're subject to a $50 fine.

So I would invite you to make a trek to the big IC (all the roads are open and they're cleaning up the dead fish). We'll show you a fun, safe, healthy, tobacco-free good time. Well, maybe wait a couple weeks until the fights stop breaking out amongst the citizens suffering the nicotine withdrawals.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Former SMOKER????
A SMOKER????
When did THAT happen?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Your clueless sister, Anne
Amy said…
Well, I was quite the covert smoker. The asthmatic didn't want to hear everyone bitch at her about how horrible it was.

Remember after college, when I lost 40 lbs? Tahdah. Combine angst over a bad relationship and nicotine, and you've got a recipe that'll shed the pounds. Not saying it was healthy. It was what it was.

And Tim said he wouldn't date me if I smoked. Great incentive.

I know. Everyone's opinion of me is shot to hell. I'll just have to deal with it.

Popular posts from this blog

Ho, Ho, Ho, How Many Times Can I Use "I'm too busy" as an Excuse?

I haven't had time to write. Work, swim meet volunteering, holiday decorating and shopping. But truthfully, I've not been in much of a mood to write anything anyway. Last night we put up the tree and Santa chachkies, and I drank my first egg nog of the season, so perhaps I'll be in a cheerier mood. Also, I have spent some time writing the annual Schoon holiday newsletter. If you happen to get a copy, treat it like a drinking game. Every time I make you roll your eyes, take a drink. Nog, wassail, Everclear. Whatever gets you through. One sure way to assist with merriment motivation is listening to Christmas carols. I'm not going to get into a debate over what truly constitutes a carol. You can "Jesus is the reason for the season" yourself until you turn blue; I generally lean toward the secular end of the holiday tune spectrum. And if you just gasped at my use of holiday instead of Christmas, go suck on a candy cane. It's my blog and my opinions. Deal. ...

IHATE IHOP Update

Tim went a few rounds, verbally, with the IHOP manager on Sunday and ended up getting our meal for half price. He still had to pay, though. I do not think that these people understand the severity of their incompetence. Or perhaps they just do not care. Someone commented to us that perhaps we should tell the IHOP folks what happened to the last restaurant that did us wrong. Recall the lactating masses who came out in support of us when we were booted from Hoover House restaurant in West Branch because I refused to breastfeed my baby in the bathroom? Remember the stories that ran in every newspaper and on every TV news show in the state -- and beyond? I'd like to point out that the Hoover House (which interestingly enough doubled as a venue for wet T-shirt contests on weekends) went out of business after our little incident. And for those of you who were befuddled and wondering how the police got involved on Sunday...someone from IHOP took the time to run out and write down our lice...

Who knew...

'Tis the season for bridal bliss. 'Tis also the season for the accompanying reception dance. And what's a wedding reception without that most unique of all marriage celebration dance numbers: The Chicken Dance. You know the drill. Polka starts, beak-quacking hand gestures, flapping, butt shimmying, and clapping ensue. A fun time is had by all (especially if there's an open bar). What you may not know is that: 1. This oom-pah song's origins rest with a Swiss according player named Werner Thomas who wrote it, most accounts say, in the 1950s. It originally was called the Duck Dance. 2. It is NOT German or Austrian, despite the images its roll-out-the-barrel-ish feelings it might conjure up. 3. A fellow named Norm Edlebeck, who was a bandleader from Wisconsin, introduced America to the Chicken Dance on TV's PM Magazine in 1982. 4. More than 140 versions of it have been recorded worldwide, including Walt Disney Records, together making more than 40,000,000 records (o...