WanderingAmylessly 2.0

Some 58-year-old guy called "Jonco" from St. Louis has a wacky little blog called Bits & Pieces that is just that -- a collection of funny photos, bad jokes and other tidbits that one usually finds in a forwarded e-mail. Sometimes funny, sometimes sick, most of the time worth at least a glance. I'm adding it to my link list to the right. See what you think: http://bitsandpieces1.blogspot.com/ I particularly enjoyed the cow-tipping graphic, the Adobe Reader dialog box, and the little girl asleep on the bread. The image of Jesus in the dog's behind isn't bad either.

It's amazing how something that I have wanted for so long makes me feel so uncomfortable when I actually get it. Today is my last day at my current job in corporate communications hell. I'm leaving to start my own business, be my own boss and use my writing skills the way they were meant to be used. My success or failure is entirely up to me. All I can say right now is...I'm so incredibly glad I have an appointment with my therapist today. I seriously need her services.

Most people have heard of Howard Stern. He's the radio shock jock who is known for his sexually explicit and often vulgar on-air antics. But do you know Howard K. Stern? He and those around him might be even more shocking than the other Howard. Howard K. is described as a "family friend and personal attorney" of Anna Nicole Smith, former Playboy playmate and Guess Jeans model who is now the TrimSpa diet program spokeswoman. Smith was the woman who married the 80-something billionnaire J. Howard Marshall years ago and fought with his son over the estate when Marshall kicked -- all the way to the Supreme Court. Most recently, Anna Nicole gave birth to a girl in the Bahamas, then suffered the loss of her 20-year-old son, Daniel, who mysteriously died in her hospital room. His death was ruled an accidental overdose of methodone and two antidepressants. So she's not exactly a stranger to drama. The twists and turns keep coming. Howard K. went on Larry King on Tuesday and d...

She's short, not more than a foot tall. She's barely 15 pounds. But she's a killer . And she's set her sights on me. Maggie, our 1-year-old West Highland White Terrier, usually focuses her attention and her sharp teeth on birds, bunnies, toads and various other critters in the back yard. She has been known to crouch down in the bushes, flush out a creature and chomp. And chomp and chomp. Yesterday, she turned on me. I saw her spying me from across the yard. She started out in a stealthy creep, then picked up speed and charged ahead. I turned my back to her, figuring she would slow up, run around my feet a few times and be content gnawing on my shoelaces. Think again. Full speed ahead, she leaped into the air, opened her mouth and chomped into the slick, thin nylon fabric of my workout pants. Chomped right through the fabric, actually, and sank her teeth into my flesh. The flesh of my... BUTT. And she wouldn't let go. So she was literally hanging off my ass by her te...

There's something about this song that makes me want to dance and cry and be 20-something again. It's not just the lyrics, either. It's the whole package. So hop onto iTunes and download it and listen. Betcha you'll hit play over and over. For You I Will (Confidence) By Teddy Geiger Wandering the streets, in a world underneath it all Nothing seems to be, nothing tastes as sweet As what I can't have Like you and the way that you're twisting your hair round your finger Tonight I'm not afraid to tell you What I feel about you. I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have and cannon ball into the water I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have For you I will For you I will Forgive me if I stutter From all of the clutter in my head Cuz I could fall asleep in those eyes Like a water bed Do I seem familiar, I've crossed you in hallways a thousand times, no more camouflage I want to be exposed, and not be afraid to fall. I'm gonna muster...

In the past two days, I have had 20 separate emails sent to me that made startling assumptions about me. These 20 emails insinuated that I 1. Had some sort of sexual deficiency that can be miraculously cured by...well whatever, I didn't read that far. 2. Had somehow lost my ovaries and gained another piece or two of anatomy, which needed assistance of some sort. 3. Had a need for a long long long list of drugs at really cheap cheap cheap prices. 4. Had a desire to watch and/or participate in somewhat shocking activities. 5. Had better refinance my home using under-the-table financing practices sure to either put me further in debt or in the slammer. I have a junk mail folder. I have filters. What exactly constitutes junk? Someone should explain it to me, because I do not understand the concept. The aforementioned 20 emails apparently did not fit the junk description. Because they made their home among my legitimate inbox mail. My mother's mail should not have to sit alongside t...

I'm not above begging. Please. Please. Please. VOTE in this fall's elections. More importantly, VOTE for the Democrats. Please. And if you have some spare cash lying around, DONATE to the Democrats. http://www.democrats.org/offense It's six weeks until Election Day. Not nearly enough time to right everything that is so wrong with our government. But it can be a good, solid start. And every day inches us closer to the Presidential election. Can you stomach four more years of lies, deceit and death? Four. About 1,460 days. How many excruciating hours, minutes, seconds is that? Talk about TERROR.

The 18-year-old pop star Aaron Carter just broke off his engagement to a 22-year-old actress and Playboy playmate who used to be his brother's girlfriend. After they'd only been engaged for a week. Only in Hollywood. And only during a time when the family's new reality TV show is about to premiere. Nothing like a tale of sibling rivalry, sex and rejection to boost interest and ratings. And remind me again, please, why we care about the Carters? Or their house? LOS ANGELES, California (AP) -- Pop singer Aaron Carter has broken off his engagement to his older brother's ex. The 18-year-old teen idol called off his engagement to 22-year-old actress Kari Ann Peniche just a week after he proposed onstage in Las Vegas, Us Weekly reported on its Web site Sunday. Peniche is an ex-girlfriend of Carter's older brother, Backstreet Boys singer Nick Carter. She's also a former Miss Teen USA and former Playboy Playmate. Both brothers will appear in the upcoming reality series ...

The list of lasts has begun. Today is my last Monday at my current job. I've begun my last week. Today's also my last team meeting for one of the major teams I'm on. Wednesday will be my final staff meeting. Tomorrow I'm having a meeting with my boss to hand off my projects and give a status report. Perhaps it will be the last time I'll have to listen to him talk about leveraging anything or about dependencies or deliverables. Next week will be the beginning of a long list of firsts. First Monday as a freelance writer. First week being dirt poor. First panic attack of October. All the good stuff. I'm hoping first paying client makes an appearance soon. Otherwise there'll be a first visit to the online classifieds followed by my first utterance of "you want fries with that?"

They found baby Abby alive and well, and her kidnapper's in the pokey. But I'd like to know what's up with people these days. Some woman in East St. Louis killed her best friend and removed her fetus from her womb, then went and killed this murdered woman's other three kids and stuck them in the washer and dryer. To say, "That's messed up" would be a total understatement. But it's my first reaction. Leaves everyone shaking heads and wondering what is wrong with the world. Besides George W. Bush. Guess we can't blame the decline of civilization on him. At least this bit of decline, anyway.

I hope someone catches the nasty woman who knocked on a front door of a rural Missouri home, held a young mother at knifepoint and slit her throat, then stole her 7-day-old baby (Mom survived and is trying to help police identify her attacker). AMBER ALERT: Name: Abigale Lynn Woods Age: 7 days Race: White Gender/Sex: Female Hair Color: Black Eye Color: Blue Height: 0'19" Weight: 6lbs Clothing: wearing pink dress with flowered collar Other: birth mark between eyes SUSPECT: Name: Unknown Age: 30-40 years Race: White Gender/Sex: Female Hair Color: Dark Eye Color: Unknown Height: 5'8" Weight: 200lbs Clothing: dark or black hair pulled up under ball cap with worn bill gray or brown t-shirt and blue jean shorts Other: sunglasses and black scarf around neck and female mustache

Never in my life have I been so obsessed with a person's urine. I must have uttered the questions, "Henry, do you have to pee?" and "Are you sure you don't have to pee? Really?" about 1,707 times over the weekend. The kid will be 3 in November. I know I'm making too big a deal about wanting him potty trained before his third birthday. But I just want it done. I know as soon as he gives up diapers for good, I'll be all wistful and wishing he wasn't growing up so fast. Until then, my "gotta pee? gotta pee?" mantra is growing old much more rapidly than he's catching the knack of making tinkletinkle in the toilet. He's starting to learn, asking for PullUps instead of a diaper. The past three days, he's had success. Each time, he gets a sticker, a stamp and a handful of chocolate chips (and bribing him with food surely will come back to haunt us...we're pleading ignorance for now). He also gets our high-fives and pats on his...

The only reason I post this is so I can write the line... "Looks like Willie is on the dope again " LAFAYETTE, Louisiana (AP) -- Willie Nelson and four others were issued misdemeanor citations for possession of narcotic mushrooms and marijuana after a traffic stop Monday morning on a Louisiana highway, state police said.

As soon as I heard the sickening thud and accompanying flapflapflap on the side of my car, while I was going 45 down a busy thoroughfare, I knew my day had just gone to hell. I quickly looked into my rearview mirror at the road growing ever distant behind me. And saw the carnage. Then I looked over at my passenger seat. My empty passenger seat, void of the large, overstuffed, leather day planner that was supposed to be laying there. I had placed the planner on top of my car while I was unlocking it and removing my jacket, and somehow forgot to pick it back up. It managed to stay atop my roof through the parking lot, through the turn into oncoming traffic. But when I accelerated, it went flying. I'm deducing that when it hit the ground, the three-ring binder popped open, because every single page in that book went fluttering into the 15-mph wind gusts. My Things-to-do lists, my calendar pages, my address pages, my notes, my folders, my Kirkwood Community College continuing ed catalo...

Not exactly what I'd call positive reinforcement. I don't think she'll be winning any parent of the year contests. GETTYSBURG, Pennsylvania (AP) -- A woman facing drug charges admitted in court that she smoked marijuana with her 13-year-old son, often to reward him for doing his homework. Amanda Lynn Livelsberger, 30, pleaded guilty to several misdemeanor drug charges Monday in Adams Country court. She admitted she had been smoking marijuana with her son since he was 11 and said she had also smoked with two of his friends, ages 17 and 18. Livelsberger pleaded guilty to misdemeanor charges of corruption of minors, possession of drug paraphernalia and possession of a small of amount of marijuana. She will be sentenced on November 27.

I didn't watch the quazi-documentary The Path to 9/11 airing on network TV. I had avoided watching commemorative specials on the terrorist attacks. I tuned in to CNN.com this morning for only a glimpse of its 5-year-anniversary coverage before turning my mind on the day's tasks at hand. Then it happened. While sitting down to eat a bite of lunch, I clicked one headline and began to read. "Children of 9/11 old enough to ask about Daddy." It reveals what life has been like for dozens of children born to Sept. 11 widows in the months following the attacks. They never knew their daddies. They were born during one of the most tumultuous times in our nation's history. The whole world changed, people said. Nothing would ever be the same, we all noted. I broke down sobbing at my desk. Not only because I was so gripped by the stories of these families and what they went through, but because I recalled the feelings I had in the days after 9/11/01. I remember thinking twice ...

Anderson Cooper says he once worked as an intern at the CIA. Anderson Cooper has been named recipient of the 2006 Congressional Black Caucus Health Braintrust Leadership in TV Journalism Award. Anderson Cooper may be in talks with CBS to host a new morning show with Campbell Brown (that's two anchors with two last names, what're the odds?) Anderson Cooper for President -- that's what a new poster at theposterlist.com promotes. Who wants to report the news when you can BE the news?! Those were just a few of the AC headlines of the past 24 hours according to my Google News search. My hubby and I just ditched our cable as part of our newly adopted money-saving habits. Just when I was lamenting the fact I would no longer see my Andy C each weeknight, out pops this nugget of news indicating the network may be calling. The bits about spying, winning awards and being the first gay president -- BONUS! He can settle himself and his dreamy blue eyes in my White House any old time.

What a letdown. She exists. She's not ugly. She, indeed, looks like them. Suri Cruise is just a plain old baby with big doe eyes and a head of black hair. Although my husband thinks her second head may be hidden by Tom's jacket.

It's official. I gave my notice this morning. And of course, because nothing happens as quickly as one would like it to, I am staying on until the end of the month. I'd be out of my head with frustration, except that I'm staying to collect an end-of-fiscal-year bonus. Is it enough for a big vacation? Or a hot tub? Or a new wardrobe? Don't get carried away. It will be big enough to help us squeak by through the upcoming months as I build up my freelance biz. I thought I would be more excited. Instead, I feel a bit nauseated. It's not exactly an "oh-what-have-I-done?!" moment. Close, though. Now I have to figure out some way to get through the next 18 workdays. That's 24 calendar days. I'd figure out the hours and minutes and seconds, but I do actually have some work to finish up. Important thing is: time's ticking.