We're relaxing with my family and trying to enjoy the smoked turkey on the table, instead of the turkeys who bungled the roofing job last week. Wishing everyone a happy feast and great holiday season ahead.
And here are a few tips for the day...
Top Ten Signs You've Eaten Too Much On Thanksgiving
10. You ate the turkey, the pop-up thermometer and the plastic net
9. Last thing you remember is positioning your open mouth behind a dump truck full of yams
8. All your silverware is worn down to tiny stumps
7. While picking your teeth, you dislodge an angry construction worker
6. Strangers keep addressing you as "Oh Mammoth One"
5. This morning, the display on your bathroom scale read "Good Lord!"
4. You now have a butt the size of Plymouth Rock
3. People keep looking at you and saying, "I thought the Macy's Parade was over"
2. Your relatives can't go home because they're stuck in your gravitational field
1. You're sweatin' gravy, my friend!
And here are a few tips for the day...
Top Ten Signs You've Eaten Too Much On Thanksgiving
10. You ate the turkey, the pop-up thermometer and the plastic net
9. Last thing you remember is positioning your open mouth behind a dump truck full of yams
8. All your silverware is worn down to tiny stumps
7. While picking your teeth, you dislodge an angry construction worker
6. Strangers keep addressing you as "Oh Mammoth One"
5. This morning, the display on your bathroom scale read "Good Lord!"
4. You now have a butt the size of Plymouth Rock
3. People keep looking at you and saying, "I thought the Macy's Parade was over"
2. Your relatives can't go home because they're stuck in your gravitational field
1. You're sweatin' gravy, my friend!
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