Skip to main content

Happy Turkey Day!

We're relaxing with my family and trying to enjoy the smoked turkey on the table, instead of the turkeys who bungled the roofing job last week. Wishing everyone a happy feast and great holiday season ahead.

And here are a few tips for the day...


Top Ten Signs You've Eaten Too Much On Thanksgiving


10. You ate the turkey, the pop-up thermometer and the plastic net

9. Last thing you remember is positioning your open mouth behind a dump truck full of yams

8. All your silverware is worn down to tiny stumps

7. While picking your teeth, you dislodge an angry construction worker

6. Strangers keep addressing you as "Oh Mammoth One"

5. This morning, the display on your bathroom scale read "Good Lord!"

4. You now have a butt the size of Plymouth Rock

3. People keep looking at you and saying, "I thought the Macy's Parade was over"

2. Your relatives can't go home because they're stuck in your gravitational field

1. You're sweatin' gravy, my friend!

Comments

Brianne said…
Oh no more turkey! I'm so stuffed from the two Thanksgiving dinners I had yesterday. I'm still sorry that I missed you guys this year. Just come back for Christmas. :) Wouldn't that be fun? I hear I also missed meeting Dolce. And I hear that grandpa had a difficult time pronouncing her name correctly. hehe Well anywho, I don't know how long you're staying there but have a safe journey home!

Popular posts from this blog

Holy Separated-At-Birth, Batman!

Gary Oldman...meet Uncle Knit-Knots from Imagination Movers.

Hair

This has become the age-old question...Why do men hate short hair on women? I've been thinking about this a lot because my current style, an angled bob, requires a bunch of fussing every morning to get it to do anything. My favorite haircut of all time, as far as ease of care, was my pixie cut. I loved that I could wash it, gel it, and be done. No blow drying or flattening or curling. Just gel and go. Very sporty. I thought it looked cute. My husband has another opinion. The longer the better is his motto. Thing is, my hair becomes an unruly, tangled, nappy mop when it gets long. If I had all the time in the world and Jennifer Aniston's budget, I'd be more than happy to grow it long and have others style it every day. In real life, I guess I'd rather go for comfort and convenience. And if you ask me, I think the pixie is dang cute. I suspect heterosexual men aren't hot on short hair, in general, because it's too much like their own hair. No matter how much jewel

Ho, Ho, Ho, How Many Times Can I Use "I'm too busy" as an Excuse?

I haven't had time to write. Work, swim meet volunteering, holiday decorating and shopping. But truthfully, I've not been in much of a mood to write anything anyway. Last night we put up the tree and Santa chachkies, and I drank my first egg nog of the season, so perhaps I'll be in a cheerier mood. Also, I have spent some time writing the annual Schoon holiday newsletter. If you happen to get a copy, treat it like a drinking game. Every time I make you roll your eyes, take a drink. Nog, wassail, Everclear. Whatever gets you through. One sure way to assist with merriment motivation is listening to Christmas carols. I'm not going to get into a debate over what truly constitutes a carol. You can "Jesus is the reason for the season" yourself until you turn blue; I generally lean toward the secular end of the holiday tune spectrum. And if you just gasped at my use of holiday instead of Christmas, go suck on a candy cane. It's my blog and my opinions. Deal.