Do Not Give That Woman The Remote

  • Spontaneous human combustion
  • Alien abductions
  • Nostradamus
  • Poltergeists and other hauntings
  • Bigfoot sightings
  • The legend of Chupacabra
  • Mind-control experiments

Jot down this list. You could even add to it, if you'd like, based on whatever popped into your head when you just read it. Tack it to a bulletin board. Sticky-note it to your forehead. Whatever you do, don't lose it. And the next time I mention I'm going to surf Netflix for something to waste a few hours on, grab that list, read it to me, and remind me why I must NEVER, EVER watch any show with any of these as its subject.

I keep forgetting. I turn on the Apple TV and get sucked into a vortex of cold case hysteria, of declassified secret files, of conspiracy theories run amok.

I'm a reasonably logical, college-educated, former journalist who enjoys a well-spun tale as much as the next gal. I'm not particularly gullible. I like real facts and figures more than fuzzy math and sheer speculation.

But there's something about the sliver of truth that dances in and and out of the shadows in these questionable tales, something that makes me think: Who knows? What if? Do you think maybe? 

That's when it all goes horribly, awfully wrong. The X-Files theme song plays in my head. I close my eyes and see the words form. The truth is out there. I want to believe. Trust no one.

And now I can't fall asleep.

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