5.08.2009

Day 20 -- Remember the old days?

What is one thing you miss most from your past?


As twisted as this sounds, I miss those hypomanic days when I had bundles of energy and thought there wasn't anything I couldn't do. I was so confident and outgoing, bubbly and passionate and motivated. I realize that manic phases can be dangerous. When you think you can do anything with no consequences, like, say, drive a hundred miles an hour or spend a thousand dollars on an afternoon shopping spree, life can go downhill fast. Usually those manic episodes nose dive into deep depressive episodes. They call it bipolar for a reason.

Now, on the my current meds, I'm on a rather even pattern. Not any highest highs, not any depths of despair. Most days everything's sort of blah, a take-it-or-leave-it feeling. I'd love to get super excited about things again.

No comments: