I've been on a plane twice since 9/11. Once, three years or so ago on our way to Texas. Second time, on the trip back to Iowa. Overall, I'm thrilled with the fact I've been spared the whole x-ray/strip search/frisking/evil eye treatment from the TSA employees.
However, it also means that I'm woefully unprepared for what I must do to pass inspection and be sent on my merry way to Monterey. Last time, I got my cross-stitch scissors confiscated. You know, those deadly two-inch-long scissors that could barely cut needlepoint thread, much less be wielded as a deadly weapon. This time, I'm planning on taking a knitting project for the plane (something small like a baby hat or a sock) but the double-pointed needles seem dubious. I really don't want them to take away a perfectly good knitting project. No one's going to stab anyone with dull, four-inch-long bamboo needles. Really! I'd be more concerned about the pen my husband will bring along for his crossword-puzzle book.
Then there's the issues with liquids on the plane. Am I allowed to bring travel size hair spray and lotion and so on in my carry-on? Am I allowed a carry-on? Am I allowed both a purse and a carry-on? Oh the humanity, HOW will I ever survive PACKING?!
Do they still make you remove your shoes? Can I use my iPod touch while we're in flight? Are they making you pay for beverage service (like a diet Coke)these days?
I feel very out-of-touch with my chosen mode of transportation. But it's too late to catch a train. And by the time we got there, we'd have to turn 'round and come home. I suppose I'll pop over to the United Airlines Web site and see what they have to say about the myriad restrictions awaiting me.
If they do snatch away my entertainment, Tim and I can hold hands and make goo-goo eyes at each other the whole flight out. It will be our 9th anniversary, after all. Everyone else on the plane will be stricken with sickness watching us. That's about as much terror as we can inflict. Honest.