Skip to main content

Santa "Brings Good Things to Life" and to Lakeside Drive

A certain sexy, cycling, picture-taking Santa Claus visited Amy's house a couple weeks early this year to check her Christmas list. He made a stop at the local appliance dealer. And if all goes well with delivery and installation, we'll be baking holiday cookies in our new OVEN by early next week!!!

We ordered this model in all black, a GE Convection Range that features a cooking system that delivers even air and heat circulation for quicker, higher quality baking and roasting. It also has a self-cleaning oven with heavy duty oven racks that can stay in the oven during the cleaning cycle, a glass cooktop featuring a warming element and a dual 9-inch/12-inch element, and a hidden element in the oven bottom.

The oven we have, an RCA (yeah, the people who made the victrola...and you wonder why we might want to upgrade), is an original to our 1992-built home. It was cheap from the get-go, doesn't have a self-clean function, burns one side of baked foods and barely cooks the other, has two semi-functional burners, and heats the stove burners to scalding temps when the oven is on. This morning, the coil element started smoking beneath my pan, so I picked up the pan to find flames lapping at its underside. Yeah, that's safe.

I'm doubly indebted to Mr. Claus for overlooking the fact that just yesterday I was very, very naughty. I got myself pulled over for apparently running a red light in the biggest cop stop speed trap in the county, University Heights, Iowa. Merry Christmas to you, too, officer. My court date's Dec. 23, but I'm going to take my punishment and go ahead and pay the $96 fine ($50 which is "court costs," a wholly bureaucratic bunch of BS). And never, ever drive Melrose Avenue again.

Not to be deterred by our archaic piece of kitchen machinery, Henry and Tim are currently baking a family favorite holiday treat -- Peanut Butter Kiss Cookies. It's purely a scientific, technical endeavor, they claim, insisting that they must bake a few last times in the old oven to truly compare with and appreciate the new appliance.

Next week can't come soon enough for us OR our taste buds. (And I'd think the fire marshall would be counting the days, too. I saw flames people, and it's not a gas range.)

Comments

Anonymous said…
CONGRATULATIONS!
And happy cooking and baking to all!
mom
Sounds like a really nice oven!! I bet you will make a LOT of delicious food in that oven!! Congrats.

Popular posts from this blog

Is it OK to own a Canadian?

In her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, written by a U.S. resident, and posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative: Dear Dr. Laura: Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination ... End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them. 1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexic...

In memoriam...

I remember the first time I heard the name "Les Anderson." A bunch of Wichita State University communication majors were sitting around on campus, talking about classes they planned to take. Several people warned me: watch out for Les Anderson. He was tough. He had a murderous grading scale. It was nearly impossible to get an A. They weren't kidding. But he wasn't tough just to be a tyrant. From his teaching sprang a fleet of incredible, successful journalists, writers, editors, broadcasters, public relations experts, advertisers, non-profit professionals...I could go on and on. Most importantly, he created a legion of people who wanted to make a difference in the world. The greatest gift Les gave to them all? He believed in them, cared about them for their own personal stories as well as the stories they told for class assignments or in the pages of his hometown newspaper. Les was my teacher. My boss. My mentor. My conscience. My champion. My friend. When I started c...

Holy Separated-At-Birth, Batman!

Gary Oldman...meet Uncle Knit-Knots from Imagination Movers.