Skip to main content

What a flock

The illustrious team of professional weather guessers at KCRG-TV 9 have unveiled their latest attempt at making excuses for why they can't seem to freaking get it right, for cripes sake.

Last night, on the 10 p.m. newscast, Little Joshie Thunderpants (or whoever...I think, they're really all equally, interchangeably incompetent) revealed to viewers a radar view of the entire state of Iowa. He pointed out the series of green patches in the western half of the state that one would assume signaled rain showers in the vicinity (because after all, that IS the point of these gizmos, right).

That's when his dastardly plan came into play. You'd think that was rain, he noted. But, aha! That's where you'd be wrong.

He then claimed that those blobs were actually the wind turbines from wind(mill) farms in western Iowa reflecting or refracting or emitting or whatever it is they supposedly do to show up on a Doppler radar.

So next time the green blobs show up, they might be storms. Or not.

My husband was once watching a weathercast in mid-Missouri when a forecaster insisted that his newfangled radar was so incredibly accurate and sensitive, it could detect a flock of birds flying nearby. The guy offered no chance of precipitation. We woke up the next morning to a rather startling snowstorm.

There was another time the weatherpeople were intently explaining the phenomenon of the "invisible precipitation" which shows up on the radar, but magically disappears before it hits the ground. I wish I could figure out how to harness that power for use with some "invisible credit card payments."

Just to be clear: These radars and their operators can find the birds. They can find the windmills. But can they do what they get paid to do, which ostensibly has something to do with jet streams and barometric pressure? I'd not exactly be going out on a limb (which I'm sure could be detected by sky-warn-four-accuweather-eagle-eye-satellite-radar) in guessing that they cannot. Try Googling "weather forecasters suck" sometime. Happy reading. It's nice to know I'm not making up this stuff in my head.

Even though they are.

And I leave you with this anonymous bit of haha from the 'Net:

So much for that forecast. I just finished shoveling four inches of "Partly Cloudy" off my sidewalks.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Holy Separated-At-Birth, Batman!

Gary Oldman...meet Uncle Knit-Knots from Imagination Movers.

Hair

This has become the age-old question...Why do men hate short hair on women? I've been thinking about this a lot because my current style, an angled bob, requires a bunch of fussing every morning to get it to do anything. My favorite haircut of all time, as far as ease of care, was my pixie cut. I loved that I could wash it, gel it, and be done. No blow drying or flattening or curling. Just gel and go. Very sporty. I thought it looked cute. My husband has another opinion. The longer the better is his motto. Thing is, my hair becomes an unruly, tangled, nappy mop when it gets long. If I had all the time in the world and Jennifer Aniston's budget, I'd be more than happy to grow it long and have others style it every day. In real life, I guess I'd rather go for comfort and convenience. And if you ask me, I think the pixie is dang cute. I suspect heterosexual men aren't hot on short hair, in general, because it's too much like their own hair. No matter how much jewel

Ho, Ho, Ho, How Many Times Can I Use "I'm too busy" as an Excuse?

I haven't had time to write. Work, swim meet volunteering, holiday decorating and shopping. But truthfully, I've not been in much of a mood to write anything anyway. Last night we put up the tree and Santa chachkies, and I drank my first egg nog of the season, so perhaps I'll be in a cheerier mood. Also, I have spent some time writing the annual Schoon holiday newsletter. If you happen to get a copy, treat it like a drinking game. Every time I make you roll your eyes, take a drink. Nog, wassail, Everclear. Whatever gets you through. One sure way to assist with merriment motivation is listening to Christmas carols. I'm not going to get into a debate over what truly constitutes a carol. You can "Jesus is the reason for the season" yourself until you turn blue; I generally lean toward the secular end of the holiday tune spectrum. And if you just gasped at my use of holiday instead of Christmas, go suck on a candy cane. It's my blog and my opinions. Deal.