I'm utterly confused (it usually doensn't take much, I acknowledge).
You know how they call them "safe deposit boxes" and in them you place your most important documents, rare coins, precious jewels, perhaps a rosewood container containing a cryptex, or special cylinder with dials which must be arranged in the correct sequence to spell out a five-letter code word in order to retrieve the parchment message inside.
Ok, so that last part is only if you're Tom Hanks with a fleur de lis key to a bank box in Zurich, and all bets are off.
But for the average everyday person who isn't seeking a new truth for Christianity and who doesn't have a masochistic Albino following you around, you'd think a safe deposit box would be just that, safe. As in safe from harm. As in, "Don't worry ma'am, we'll provide safekeeping for your treasures." As in, you put your stuff there so that it will be more protected than it would be in your house.
Funny thing about that. Remember how our house stayed high and dry during ClusterFlood '08? And remember this photo I shared with you, the one where I pointed out that the building in the middle of the frame, the one submerged in Clear Creek, was, in fact, our beloved Wells Fargo bank?
So how safe was our deposit? We're a bit uncertain of the details, but we think our box was high up enough to have avoided the big soak. Whether I have mold growing on my marriage certificate, I'm not sure (the disaster cleanup people are the only ones allowed in at the moment). It just got me to thinking though. How secure is your average bank? If there were a fire, would it all just melt? In a tornado, would the walls stand or would the whole thing go flying around in the sky with Dorothy and the Wicked Witch on her bicycle? I don't care whether some petty thief snatches a few stock certificates. What I'm really looking for is peace of mind knowing that if some sort of act of a wrathful God befalls us, that bank is like Fort Knox or NORAD or the Popemobile or whathaveyou. As of now, I'm unconvinced.
Oh, the things we take for granted. I have decided that from now on, I'm going to call it our "safer deposit box." Like how we don't advise people to have "safe sex" because there's no such thing nowadays, kiddos. It's safe-r. Don't get too comfortable. Don't think your valuables are untouchable just because they're in a locked box in a secure room in a guarded building.
In the FLOOD PLAIN.
You know how they call them "safe deposit boxes" and in them you place your most important documents, rare coins, precious jewels, perhaps a rosewood container containing a cryptex, or special cylinder with dials which must be arranged in the correct sequence to spell out a five-letter code word in order to retrieve the parchment message inside.
Ok, so that last part is only if you're Tom Hanks with a fleur de lis key to a bank box in Zurich, and all bets are off.
But for the average everyday person who isn't seeking a new truth for Christianity and who doesn't have a masochistic Albino following you around, you'd think a safe deposit box would be just that, safe. As in safe from harm. As in, "Don't worry ma'am, we'll provide safekeeping for your treasures." As in, you put your stuff there so that it will be more protected than it would be in your house.
Funny thing about that. Remember how our house stayed high and dry during ClusterFlood '08? And remember this photo I shared with you, the one where I pointed out that the building in the middle of the frame, the one submerged in Clear Creek, was, in fact, our beloved Wells Fargo bank?
So how safe was our deposit? We're a bit uncertain of the details, but we think our box was high up enough to have avoided the big soak. Whether I have mold growing on my marriage certificate, I'm not sure (the disaster cleanup people are the only ones allowed in at the moment). It just got me to thinking though. How secure is your average bank? If there were a fire, would it all just melt? In a tornado, would the walls stand or would the whole thing go flying around in the sky with Dorothy and the Wicked Witch on her bicycle? I don't care whether some petty thief snatches a few stock certificates. What I'm really looking for is peace of mind knowing that if some sort of act of a wrathful God befalls us, that bank is like Fort Knox or NORAD or the Popemobile or whathaveyou. As of now, I'm unconvinced.
Oh, the things we take for granted. I have decided that from now on, I'm going to call it our "safer deposit box." Like how we don't advise people to have "safe sex" because there's no such thing nowadays, kiddos. It's safe-r. Don't get too comfortable. Don't think your valuables are untouchable just because they're in a locked box in a secure room in a guarded building.
In the FLOOD PLAIN.
Comments
But I have to ask - did you read the Da Vinci Code or just watch the movie? 'Cause the book is infinitely better.
I loved the book. Loved loved loved. But I mentioned Tom Hanks because it would be more readily understood by most readers.
As an aside, did you ever read The Horse Whisperer? Worst book-to-movie ever in the history of film. This book is one of my all time favorites. I sobbed out loud. Then Redford got his mitts on it, cast that pinched face Brit in the lead, and completely changed the ending. Beyond hideous. If I were that writer, I would have found a cliff to jump off.
PS- Here's what I though of The Da Vinci Code.