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The real question: Do they match your shoes?

Men have a lot of junk that they shove in their pockets. Change. Wads of dollar bills. Receipts. Mints and other assorted small snackies. Keys. Phone. Wallet.

Is that a load of stuff in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me? More importantly, is that load of stuff affecting the way you walk, sit, exist?

There's a reason why women carry a bag to put it all in. I never understood the need of men to act all low-maintenance, when they have just as much crap as we do. They just turn themselves into martyrs of testosterone.

My husband suffers from such an affliction. Which is why he suggested, in December, right before Christmas, that he could really use a "man bag."

OOH! Brilliant present idea, right?! I searched and searched the 'Net for just the right bag. And came up with a brown leather bag that looks a little like one of those newfangled one-shoulder backpacks. Sporty black woven strap. Lots of pockets and zippers and such. Smelled like a dead cow. What could be more manly?

Except he's barely touched it since he's opened it, and he confessed this morning that he'll probably never use it.

Why, you ask?

"Because it looks like a purse," he groaned.

No. It does not. He's not wearing a Vera Wang dress and 4-inch Manolos with it. He's not donning a long wig and false eyelashes. He's not putting ruby red lipsticks and Tampax in it.

It's a bag.

I called Henry in to referee. I asked him what Daddy's present was.

"It's a bag for Daddy," Henry answered, but before I could rejoice, he added in a semi-whisper, "But Mommy, I think it's really a purse."

Hopeless.

Comments

Brianne said…
I hate to break it to you Ames, but that does sound more purse-like than man bag.

Brett is big into the man bag thing. Even though he does stuff too much in his pockets. But his new favorite he got at one of those Outdoor/Biking stores. It's also a laptop bag but it's really nice. It's the kind you throw over your head and one of your shoulders you know? But it's nice.
Brianne said…
Brand name: Wenger
Brianne said…
****Update****

They're called messenger bags, and the Wenger, Brett got in Japan. It's the "stylish" one but I have no idea how accessible they are here. The other brands he has are Timbuk2 (the one w/ the laptop compartment) and Mountainsmith (the last one's more of a hiking bag.)
FletcherDodge said…
Amy,

I have to concur with your husband and son. But you have inspired me to delve deeper into the subject. You can see acceptable alternatives here.

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