I love baking. Especially at the holidays. My pants don't necessarily like my EATING of the baked goods, but that's another story (for those of you who were wondering, my diet efforts are on hiatus, so ignore the pound counter at the bottom of the page for now).
This year, I baked several yummies to give as gifts to my clients -- the ones I write and edit for. I made lots of traditional favorites, but I thought I'd branch out and try something new.
Note to self: don't do that.
I saw the recipe in a cookie cookbook: Linzer Spirals. They're Scandinavian, they're a pretty red-and-white swirl, and they had hazelnuts in them. What could go wrong?
1. I couldn't buy packaged hazelnuts. I had to buy in bulk, crack them, then bake them for 20 minutes, then wrap them in a kitchen towel for 10 minutes, then slough off the skins, then chop them in itty bitty pieces.
2. This recipe required that I, once everything was all stirred up, spread the batter onto waxed paper in a thin rectangle and chill it for half an hour.
3. That's about the time I realized I'd forgotten to put the damn nuts in the batter.
4. So then I respread it. Cooled it. Then added a thin layer of raspberry preserves. Then my task was to roll it up, jelly roll style. Which would have been lovely, had the dough not stuck to the waxed paper. Raspberry preserves started squishing out everywhere. It looked more like a giant, malformed worm writhing in fruity goo.
5. Then I was to freeze it for at least an hour, cut into thin slices, place on a prepared cookie sheet (which means greased, and I'm sorry, but that's what the NON STICK COATING is for...I should not have to grease cookie sheets) and bake.
6. Nowhere in this recipe did it tell me I needed to remove the cookies from the pan immediately or risk them being sealed like super glue (which is, I learned, what happens when raspberry preserves are heated and then cooled on a pan, whether it's greased or not). So I waited a few minutes, then proceeded to chip them off the pan like an ice sculptor chiseling her next work.
7. I think 4 of the first batch of 12 were fit to give as gifts.
8. Then I ate one. Ever eat anything with cardamom in it? It's supposed to be a Scandinavian delight. I tasted nothing delightful about it. Picture the salt-and-sand mixture on the slushy ice at the end of your driveway after the plow has cleared your street. Now imagine leaning down and LICKING THAT. Yeeeuummm.
9. I'm going to stick with chocolate chip cookies.
10. In the meantime, I have a log of unbaked Linzer Spiral dough in the freezer I'd be happy to share. Any takers? What would it fetch on eBay?
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