I'm a sucker for a trashy romance novel. It can be romantic suspense, historical gush, paranormal erotica, or the basis for the next Lifetime movie of the week. I'm not picky.
That said, I do have a few minor complaints about overused phrases, corny setups, and euphemisms for humans' nether regions. Not that I have room to criticize, when I've only written nine chapters of my supposed "Great American Novel" and the first chapter includes a wacky combination of protagonist, battery-powered romance aid, and a boatload of guilt over what's being done beneath Granny's hand-pieced quilt.
I happened across a readers' forum on Amazon.com, titled "Author Quirks We Notice & Love (Or Hate)." Can we say, "Critical, much?" Nothing gets past these militant romance readers. Still, I found myself laughing out loud and completely relating to many of their observations. We continue to read these authors despite the flaws, putting even more money in their stuffed pockets and rocketing them, once again, to the top of the NYT Bestseller list.
I'll share a few of the more common irritations. Even if you never read romances, you're allowed to guffaw. These are fairly heinous.
-- Laurell K. Hamilton's Anita Blake Vampire Hunter series is a guilty pleasure of mine. However, I'm glad to know I'm not the only person rolling her eyes at the oft-used description of yet another group of people sleeping in "warm puppy piles." As if she's trying to soften the fact that the main character is frequently at the center of an orgy that involves vampires and an assortment of wereanimals. Nothing screams romantic moment like puppies? Try again.
-- I agree with "Kyra," who made an observation about detesting when an author "constantly uses the same words and phrases. She gave one example from an unidentified book: undulate. "The heroine undulated. The hero undulated. The horizon undulated. The clouds in the sky undulated. And because it was a paranormal, at one point the HOUSE undulated. Good grief!"
-- "Bared her teeth"...can someone do this without looking like a) a chimpanzee or b) a horse?
-- She must live in the land of the Olympic-sized pool, because MaryJanice Davidson describes nearly every male character (main hero and minor player alike) as having "a swimmer's build." And Laurell K. Hamilton's Anita would be OK with that because, at least 10 times in every book, describes some sort of sexual position or situation or body type as being something "that just flat out does it for me." Who needs creativity when imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, especially when you imitate yourself!
-- Why are women always "mewling"? What IS that anyway?! I am pretty damn sure I've never mewled. At least I hope not.
-- Tender folds and throbbing manhood. 'Nuff said.
That said, I do have a few minor complaints about overused phrases, corny setups, and euphemisms for humans' nether regions. Not that I have room to criticize, when I've only written nine chapters of my supposed "Great American Novel" and the first chapter includes a wacky combination of protagonist, battery-powered romance aid, and a boatload of guilt over what's being done beneath Granny's hand-pieced quilt.
I happened across a readers' forum on Amazon.com, titled "Author Quirks We Notice & Love (Or Hate)." Can we say, "Critical, much?" Nothing gets past these militant romance readers. Still, I found myself laughing out loud and completely relating to many of their observations. We continue to read these authors despite the flaws, putting even more money in their stuffed pockets and rocketing them, once again, to the top of the NYT Bestseller list.
I'll share a few of the more common irritations. Even if you never read romances, you're allowed to guffaw. These are fairly heinous.
-- Laurell K. Hamilton's Anita Blake Vampire Hunter series is a guilty pleasure of mine. However, I'm glad to know I'm not the only person rolling her eyes at the oft-used description of yet another group of people sleeping in "warm puppy piles." As if she's trying to soften the fact that the main character is frequently at the center of an orgy that involves vampires and an assortment of wereanimals. Nothing screams romantic moment like puppies? Try again.
-- I agree with "Kyra," who made an observation about detesting when an author "constantly uses the same words and phrases. She gave one example from an unidentified book: undulate. "The heroine undulated. The hero undulated. The horizon undulated. The clouds in the sky undulated. And because it was a paranormal, at one point the HOUSE undulated. Good grief!"
-- "Bared her teeth"...can someone do this without looking like a) a chimpanzee or b) a horse?
-- She must live in the land of the Olympic-sized pool, because MaryJanice Davidson describes nearly every male character (main hero and minor player alike) as having "a swimmer's build." And Laurell K. Hamilton's Anita would be OK with that because, at least 10 times in every book, describes some sort of sexual position or situation or body type as being something "that just flat out does it for me." Who needs creativity when imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, especially when you imitate yourself!
-- Why are women always "mewling"? What IS that anyway?! I am pretty damn sure I've never mewled. At least I hope not.
-- Tender folds and throbbing manhood. 'Nuff said.
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