Happy Holiday, from David Letterman

Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear At A July Fourth Barbecue

10. "Beef is great, but squirrel's so much cheaper."
9. "Take a photo of me lighting this cigar with an M-80."
8. "To give it a little 'kick,' I put charcoal starter in the punch."
7. "Oh God, Letterman's shirtless again."
6. "I'd like to tell you why scientology is so important to me."
5. "Hey look, it's Earnest Borgnine--oh, sorry lady."
4. "All right, detainees, line up over here for your gitmo-style powdered baked beans."
3. "I'm afraid the only fireworks tonight are between me and your wife."
2. "My hot dog has a knuckle."
1. "I don't think that's mayonnaise in the cole slaw."

Comments

Holy Separated-At-Birth, Batman!

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In her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, written by a U.S. resident, and posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative: Dear Dr. Laura: Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination ... End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them. 1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexic...

What's in a name? Everything.

I'm appalled. You can call it King or Duke or Princess or M'lady of Everloving Windsor. But you cannot call it Queen. It is not Queen. Will never be Queen again. Freddie Mercury was the heart and soul and voice and face and pianist and songwriter and co-founder of that '70s & '80s phenomenal English rock band. Yet, guitarist Brian May and drummer Roger Taylor have trotted some singer named Paul Rodgers on stage, on tour, on a new album, and are calling themselves Queen. Technically, they're referring to themselves as Queen + Paul Rodgers. I'm sorry, but two washed-up has-been musicians and some former singer for Bad Company does not somehow magically make it OK to blaspheme Freddie like this. The band HE fronted was the one inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and the Songwriters Hall of Fame. MTV named Mercury the second greatest singer in the history of popular music. I realize that many bands suffer this fate as members retire or die and others t...

WanderingAmylessly 2.0

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