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50 States, Endless Silly Slogans

I'll admit, state tourism promoters have a tough job. Especially those creative folks tasked with inventing new slogans to sum up their state's attractiveness and WOW factor. Say you're on the committee responsible for reinventing the reputation of North Dakota. I'm sure North Dakota has a lot going for it, although I have no personal knowledge as to what that might be. Which is proof positive that a little extra promotion wouldn't hurt. Let's see, North Dakota: America's Answer to Siberia? North Dakota: Like South Dakota, only without the tourist attractions? Ok. They're not going to hire me. That's obvious.

I ran across a list of current and former state slogans and thought I'd share. I'm not sure most of these capture the essence of the state as much as they're just catchy (or in some cases, shocking and maybe even downright absurd). And who knows if they're true...I found them on Wikipedia.

At any rate, I was amused, puzzled and/or embarrassed by several:

Where America finds its voice. Alabama. -- Its redneck, racist voice? Woo-wee.
Almost Heaven. West Virginia -- Yeah? To anyone but John Denver?
SayWA! Washington -- Do you think the guys from the Whasup beer commercials do the ads? Say Waaaaa, WaaaaahhhhWaaaaaaaaaa.
Smiling Faces. Beautiful Places. South Carolina -- Nice, except they totally ripped off the South Dakota motto, Great Faces. Great Places.
Colorado: Where the Columbines Grow -- Needless to say, this is no longer the slogan. Oddly though, it is the state song. Unfortunately, the shootings at that high school have ruined it forever. At least in my mind.
Where the Rivers Run. Missouri -- Yes. Because who/what wouldn't want to run far from the state my husband affectionately refers to as Misery.
Life Changing. Iowa -- This is our state's new campaign, and I like it. But I still can't get the old one out of my head: "Iowa, you make me smile." Which does, indeed, produce a goofy grin...
Kansas. As big as you think. -- That would not be my choice. I love my home state, but that translates into "As big and dull and boring as you think." A vast wasteland of nothingness. I cracked up, though, when I read that one of the state's previous slogans was "Home of Beautiful Women." Who thunk that? Hugh Hefner doing a pictorial of Kansas Kuties? That is not one I'd ever heard before. Like I said, it's Wikipedia -- grain of salt required.

States have to have a slogan or a tagline or a catchphrase, I guess, just like Coke or Nike or Must-See-TV Thursday nights on NBC. The tourism game's a big one, and enticing vacationers to come and stay a while is vital to the economy. Granted, some creative types have a substantial uphill battle. When your greatest attractions involve, say, world-record-holding balls of twine and large (albeit impressively so) hand-dug wells, you've got your work cut out for you.

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