Most Popular Elf Pick-up Lines

"Has anyone ever told you you have beautiful knees?"
"We don't see many happenin' ladies north of the Arctic Circle."
"That's quite a set of ornaments you've got there."
"Just because a guy wears tights doesn't mean he's gay."
"One night with me, baby, and you'll be sneezin' tinsel."
"Why, yes, I am George Stephanopoulos."
"I can't tell you how hard it is to be the only elf who's Jewish."
"Not everything about me is tiny."
"That's not Elmo, but don't stop tickling."
"I'm down here!"
"Just because I have bells on my shoes doesn't mean I'm a sissy."
"I was once a lawn ornament for Brad Pitt."
"No, no, I don't bake cookies. You're thinking of those dorks at Keebler."
"You'd look great in a Raggedy Ann wig."
"I can eat my weight in cocktail wieners."
"I taught Santa everything he knows."
"I'm a magical being. Take off your bra."
"I'm free on Christmas Eve."
"Even Santa doesn't make candy as sweet as you."
"I've got the keys to the sleigh tonight."
"You know what they say about guys with big ears."
"I get a thimbleful of tequila in me and I turn into a wild man."
"I have certain needs that can't be satisfied by working on toys."
"I can get you off the naughty list."

Source: Bits&Pieces blog

Comments

Holy Separated-At-Birth, Batman!

Gary Oldman...meet Uncle Knit-Knots from Imagination Movers.

Hair

This has become the age-old question...Why do men hate short hair on women? I've been thinking about this a lot because my current style, an angled bob, requires a bunch of fussing every morning to get it to do anything. My favorite haircut of all time, as far as ease of care, was my pixie cut. I loved that I could wash it, gel it, and be done. No blow drying or flattening or curling. Just gel and go. Very sporty. I thought it looked cute. My husband has another opinion. The longer the better is his motto. Thing is, my hair becomes an unruly, tangled, nappy mop when it gets long. If I had all the time in the world and Jennifer Aniston's budget, I'd be more than happy to grow it long and have others style it every day. In real life, I guess I'd rather go for comfort and convenience. And if you ask me, I think the pixie is dang cute. I suspect heterosexual men aren't hot on short hair, in general, because it's too much like their own hair. No matter how much jewel

Ho, Ho, Ho, How Many Times Can I Use "I'm too busy" as an Excuse?

I haven't had time to write. Work, swim meet volunteering, holiday decorating and shopping. But truthfully, I've not been in much of a mood to write anything anyway. Last night we put up the tree and Santa chachkies, and I drank my first egg nog of the season, so perhaps I'll be in a cheerier mood. Also, I have spent some time writing the annual Schoon holiday newsletter. If you happen to get a copy, treat it like a drinking game. Every time I make you roll your eyes, take a drink. Nog, wassail, Everclear. Whatever gets you through. One sure way to assist with merriment motivation is listening to Christmas carols. I'm not going to get into a debate over what truly constitutes a carol. You can "Jesus is the reason for the season" yourself until you turn blue; I generally lean toward the secular end of the holiday tune spectrum. And if you just gasped at my use of holiday instead of Christmas, go suck on a candy cane. It's my blog and my opinions. Deal.

WanderingAmylessly 2.0

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