I don't know if Blogger readers ever noticed, but there's a link on every blog that leads to the writer's profile. And within the profile, there's a feature that generates random questions or comments such as the one that has been on mine for months: Unlike a dog, how can a turtle ever be naked?
The writer is prompted to provide a response. Mine for the dog and turtle show was, "We're all naked when we expose our souls."
Whatever that's supposed to mean, I'm not even sure.
So I decided to update my profile's random jibberish. The feature's addictive. I clicked through 13 before I came to The One. The rejects:
When you spilled the milk, did it look like the moon?
Create a tagline for a new line of plastic bedsheets.
If there's no "I" in team, why is there meat?
You're in the grocery store with a broken cart. How will you ever be that hungry?
Foxes are clever and tigers are cunning. So, what's your cat's safety school?
You can whistle and steam can whistle, so why do you sing in the shower?
For your birthday, your aunt gave you a maple syrup dispenser shaped like a rooster. Please write her a thank-you note:
You've written a hit musical! How will you avoid having fame go to your head?
If you drive on a parkway why don't they make the whole plane out of that?
Your people want to make a statue in your honor. What will it be made out of and what victory will it commemorate?
How tall would you be if you had never cut your fingernails?
Your pajamas have duckies on them. Why did you switch from choo-choos?
When you hesitate before hitting snooze on your alarm clock, are you being lazy?
Here was my winner:
If you were a cannibal, what would you wear to dinner?
I ate his liver wearing some Levi Jeans and a nice thong panty
Silence of the Lambs fans...you'll get that reference. Everyone else thinks I'm a freak right about now.
And readers, feel free to post with your responses to any of the random musings. I'm taking a break. My brain hurts.
The writer is prompted to provide a response. Mine for the dog and turtle show was, "We're all naked when we expose our souls."
Whatever that's supposed to mean, I'm not even sure.
So I decided to update my profile's random jibberish. The feature's addictive. I clicked through 13 before I came to The One. The rejects:
When you spilled the milk, did it look like the moon?
Create a tagline for a new line of plastic bedsheets.
If there's no "I" in team, why is there meat?
You're in the grocery store with a broken cart. How will you ever be that hungry?
Foxes are clever and tigers are cunning. So, what's your cat's safety school?
You can whistle and steam can whistle, so why do you sing in the shower?
For your birthday, your aunt gave you a maple syrup dispenser shaped like a rooster. Please write her a thank-you note:
You've written a hit musical! How will you avoid having fame go to your head?
If you drive on a parkway why don't they make the whole plane out of that?
Your people want to make a statue in your honor. What will it be made out of and what victory will it commemorate?
How tall would you be if you had never cut your fingernails?
Your pajamas have duckies on them. Why did you switch from choo-choos?
When you hesitate before hitting snooze on your alarm clock, are you being lazy?
Here was my winner:
If you were a cannibal, what would you wear to dinner?
I ate his liver wearing some Levi Jeans and a nice thong panty
Silence of the Lambs fans...you'll get that reference. Everyone else thinks I'm a freak right about now.
And readers, feel free to post with your responses to any of the random musings. I'm taking a break. My brain hurts.
Comments
Chocolate. Who cares as long as there's 200 pounds of chocolate to eat before it melts!
I found one I liked and gave it a Dave Barry-inspired answer. I accidentally passed over it the first time and it took me a good half hour to find it again. It was the only one that sounded partially sane.