Group therapy this morning was enlightening. I'm so messed up. We did this test to discover what they call "filters". Some other people call them schemas or automatic thoughts. They asked what our top few were. All 10 were high on my list. I even said as much in class. Everyone laughed. I'm not sure whether they commiserated, or whether they were glad they aren't as messed up as I am. (and I'm sure that thought involves a filter in some way...)
I thought I'd share with you all the 10 filters. Do you see them in yourselves? It's ok to see them. But when they run your life, get help. You don't have to live this way. That's why I'm in therapy. I want to ditch these negative filters forever.
EMOTIONAL DEPRIVATION: This cluster gives a sense that others will not provide us with affection, attention, direction, empathy, nurturance, strength, and understanding. Beliefs include: No one makes me feel special. No one listens to me or understands me.
ABANDONMENT: You believe that anyone you become close to will eventually leave you. Close relationships will end. Past loss can perpetuate this.
MISTRUST: You believe that others cannot be trusted, that others will eventually take advantage of or abuse you in some way. You expecct others to hurt, cheat, manipulate, lie, or put you down.
DEFECTIVENESS/SOCIAL UNDESIRABILITY: You believe that you are different from other people, flawed, bad, socially inept, or inferior. You believe that if you let others get to know you, they will realize this.
FAILURE TO ACHIEVE: You believe that you are incapable of performing as well as your peers in areas such as work, school, or sports, and you may feel stupid, inept, untalented, or ignorant.
VULNERABILITY TO HARM/ILLNESS: You believe that you are always on the verge of experiencing a major random catastropthe, whether it be financial, natural, medical, criminal, etc.
SELF-SACRIFICE: You believe you must sacrifice your own needs in order to help others. You may feel guilty when you pay attention to your own needs and helping others gives you a sense of identity.
SUBJUGATION: You believe you must submit to others in order to avoid negative consequences. You surrender control over your behavior, emotional expression, and decisions. You work hard to avoid conflict.
UNRELENTING STANDARDS: You believe that whatever you do is not good enough, and not acceptable to yourself and others. You believe you must strive to meet excessively high standards of behavior and performance to avoid criticism both from yourself and others.
ENTITLEMENT/SELF-CENTEREDNESS: You believe you should be able to do, say or have whatever you want, right now, regardless of whether that hurts others or seems unreasonable to them. You may believe that society owes you. **
**This was my top filter, followed closely by self-sacrifice and subjugation. For what it's worth.
I thought I'd share with you all the 10 filters. Do you see them in yourselves? It's ok to see them. But when they run your life, get help. You don't have to live this way. That's why I'm in therapy. I want to ditch these negative filters forever.
EMOTIONAL DEPRIVATION: This cluster gives a sense that others will not provide us with affection, attention, direction, empathy, nurturance, strength, and understanding. Beliefs include: No one makes me feel special. No one listens to me or understands me.
ABANDONMENT: You believe that anyone you become close to will eventually leave you. Close relationships will end. Past loss can perpetuate this.
MISTRUST: You believe that others cannot be trusted, that others will eventually take advantage of or abuse you in some way. You expecct others to hurt, cheat, manipulate, lie, or put you down.
DEFECTIVENESS/SOCIAL UNDESIRABILITY: You believe that you are different from other people, flawed, bad, socially inept, or inferior. You believe that if you let others get to know you, they will realize this.
FAILURE TO ACHIEVE: You believe that you are incapable of performing as well as your peers in areas such as work, school, or sports, and you may feel stupid, inept, untalented, or ignorant.
VULNERABILITY TO HARM/ILLNESS: You believe that you are always on the verge of experiencing a major random catastropthe, whether it be financial, natural, medical, criminal, etc.
SELF-SACRIFICE: You believe you must sacrifice your own needs in order to help others. You may feel guilty when you pay attention to your own needs and helping others gives you a sense of identity.
SUBJUGATION: You believe you must submit to others in order to avoid negative consequences. You surrender control over your behavior, emotional expression, and decisions. You work hard to avoid conflict.
UNRELENTING STANDARDS: You believe that whatever you do is not good enough, and not acceptable to yourself and others. You believe you must strive to meet excessively high standards of behavior and performance to avoid criticism both from yourself and others.
ENTITLEMENT/SELF-CENTEREDNESS: You believe you should be able to do, say or have whatever you want, right now, regardless of whether that hurts others or seems unreasonable to them. You may believe that society owes you. **
**This was my top filter, followed closely by self-sacrifice and subjugation. For what it's worth.
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