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The ever-quotable West Wing

Sam Seaborn: About a week ago I accidentally slept with a prostitute.
Toby Ziegler: [pause] Really?
Sam Seaborn: Yes.
Toby Ziegler: A prostitute?
Sam Seaborn: A call girl.
Toby Ziegler: Accidentally?
Sam Seaborn: Yes.
Toby Ziegler: I don't understand. Did you *trip* over something?

*****

Josh Lyman: Victory is mine, victory is mine. Great day in the morning, victory is mine
Donna Moss: Good morning, Josh.
Josh Lyman: I drink from the keg of glory, Donna. Bring me the finest muffins and bagels in all the land
Donna Moss: It's going to be an unbearable day

*****

Mandy Hampton: Mr. President, if you could also see your way clear to not answering that question like an economics professor with a big old stick up his butt, that would be good too.
President Josiah Bartlet: I am an economics professor with a big old stick up my butt, but I'll do my best for you, there, Mandy.

*****

Josh Lyman: You know what, CJ? I really think I'm the best judge of what I mean, you paranoid Berkeley shiksa feminista... Wow, that was way too far.
C.J. Cregg: No. No. Well, I've got a staff meeting to go to and so do you, you elitist, Harvard, fascist, missed-the-dean's-list-two-semesters-in-a-row Yankee jackass.
Josh Lyman: Feel better getting that off your chest there, C.J.?
C.J. Cregg: I'm a whole new woman.

*****

Leo McGarry: You have an interesting conversational style, do you know that?
Ainsley Hayes: It's a nervous condition.
Leo McGarry: I used to have a nervous condition.
Ainsley Hayes: How did yours manifest itself?
Leo McGarry: I drank a lot of scotch.
Ainsley Hayes: I get sick when I drink too much.
Leo McGarry: I get drunk when I drink too much.

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