You name it, there's a web site devoted to it. Baseball cards. Toe fungus. The Brady Bunch. Frozen peas. It's mind-boggling. Or, maybe, mind-numbing.
Today I happened upon a site that I think more people should know about. KeepYourSecrets.com. It's a site that provides "candid, practical, and effective guidelines and techniques for keeping your private life private." Generally, I'd like friends and family to feel comfortable enough with me to share their lives—thoughts, hopes, dreams, opinions, loves, and so on. However, those people who yap deafeningly loud on their cell phones in public—usually revealing way more information than I needed to know, about who did what to whom or with whom and/or how—might be encouraged to incorporate a tip or two from this site. Better yet, they can skip the site and simply read these two words: SHUT UP.
For those who choose to check it out, the site defines "privacy" as the condition under which an individual has the power to choose what information to disclose to whom, without pressure or duress, and "secrecy" as the condition in which someone refuses to disclose certain information to certain parties..usually because they are prying. (I could beg the question—since when does caring about another person's life and well-being constitute prying—but that's another discussion for another day.)
Then the site delves into why we need to keep secrets, when it's inappropriate to keep secrets (sorry, you gotta tell us where the bodies are), why people look up to others who can keep secrets, and offers tips on how to effectively keep secrets when the people around you are trying to pry them out of you. Among the tips:
1. Don't tell.
No one can blab if nobody knows.
2. Don't act like you know a secret.
Avoid "I KNOW SOMETHIN' YOU DON'T KNOW...NANNY NANNY NAAANEEE"
3. Don't play 20 Questions
Stay away from the process-of-elimination game.
4. Play dumb.
Do not change the subject, or get unusually silent or talkative and defensive.
5. Politely, calmly, firmly refuse to tell.
This makes those on the fishing-for-info expedition particularly frustrated. Yep. Me included.
6. Lie
This is not recommended. Just listed as an option. There's an entire link on "Ethics of Secrecy." (there's also a whole section on lie detection...B.S.-o-meter.) And there's a section on common mistakes made when people fail to keep secrets. Avoiding telling the lie actually slips people up. Giving evasive answers or non answers, or responding to a question with a question...can you say hiding with a capital H?
I particularly love the disclaimers on this site. One is: This web site does not attempt to address religious discussions related to secrecy. If you have religious issues or questions about deception, go to your priest, pastor, reverend, rabbi, or whatever person oversees your religion. Another is: This web site does not provide Legal or Medical advice. This information is presented for educational purposes only. If you have questions about the legality of your actions, consult a qualified professional.
This web site, according to its writers, is for: Those of you who are occasionally faced with people who insist on prying into your life. A few of you out there probably fit that description. Read and learn.
Just remember. I read it, too. So I know all your tricks.
Today I happened upon a site that I think more people should know about. KeepYourSecrets.com. It's a site that provides "candid, practical, and effective guidelines and techniques for keeping your private life private." Generally, I'd like friends and family to feel comfortable enough with me to share their lives—thoughts, hopes, dreams, opinions, loves, and so on. However, those people who yap deafeningly loud on their cell phones in public—usually revealing way more information than I needed to know, about who did what to whom or with whom and/or how—might be encouraged to incorporate a tip or two from this site. Better yet, they can skip the site and simply read these two words: SHUT UP.
For those who choose to check it out, the site defines "privacy" as the condition under which an individual has the power to choose what information to disclose to whom, without pressure or duress, and "secrecy" as the condition in which someone refuses to disclose certain information to certain parties..usually because they are prying. (I could beg the question—since when does caring about another person's life and well-being constitute prying—but that's another discussion for another day.)
Then the site delves into why we need to keep secrets, when it's inappropriate to keep secrets (sorry, you gotta tell us where the bodies are), why people look up to others who can keep secrets, and offers tips on how to effectively keep secrets when the people around you are trying to pry them out of you. Among the tips:
1. Don't tell.
No one can blab if nobody knows.
2. Don't act like you know a secret.
Avoid "I KNOW SOMETHIN' YOU DON'T KNOW...NANNY NANNY NAAANEEE"
3. Don't play 20 Questions
Stay away from the process-of-elimination game.
4. Play dumb.
Do not change the subject, or get unusually silent or talkative and defensive.
5. Politely, calmly, firmly refuse to tell.
This makes those on the fishing-for-info expedition particularly frustrated. Yep. Me included.
6. Lie
This is not recommended. Just listed as an option. There's an entire link on "Ethics of Secrecy." (there's also a whole section on lie detection...B.S.-o-meter.) And there's a section on common mistakes made when people fail to keep secrets. Avoiding telling the lie actually slips people up. Giving evasive answers or non answers, or responding to a question with a question...can you say hiding with a capital H?
I particularly love the disclaimers on this site. One is: This web site does not attempt to address religious discussions related to secrecy. If you have religious issues or questions about deception, go to your priest, pastor, reverend, rabbi, or whatever person oversees your religion. Another is: This web site does not provide Legal or Medical advice. This information is presented for educational purposes only. If you have questions about the legality of your actions, consult a qualified professional.
This web site, according to its writers, is for: Those of you who are occasionally faced with people who insist on prying into your life. A few of you out there probably fit that description. Read and learn.
Just remember. I read it, too. So I know all your tricks.
Comments