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Thoughts about cartoons

I haven't really watched kids' cartoons since I climbed out of bed and wandered down the hall in my footy pajamas to flip on the t.v. and watch the Smurfs in the early '80s. I mean, I've watched South Park, but that doesn't count. Any cartoon where little kids are calling each other "bastard" and conversing with a character that is a pile o' poo and watching as one of their friends gets killed in every episode—not really a family show.

But according to Dr. James Dobson (Focus on the Family) and the religious right, today's youth should not be allowed to watch cartoons actually targeted to their age group because these cartoon characters are "pro-homosexual" and "showing tolerance of differences of sexual identity." Specifically, someone produced a video that featured many popular characters..and they apparently were all in on this secret plot. From SpongeBob to Barney to Jimmy Neutron, they're all the reason society is going to hell in a handbasket.

God forbid we might actually teach youngsters about differences and tolerance and acceptance and love and caring and...don't get me started. (OOPS, too late.) So now the whole world is talking about how SpongeBob and his friend Patrick Star are gay. First off, they're CARTOONS. Apparently Dr. Dobson's trip to fantasyland is a 24/7/365 adventure. He needs a little help separating fiction from real life.

Has someone explained to Dr. Dobson that the cartoon show to which he is referring is about a talking sponge who lives in a pineapple in the bottom of the sea and has a starfish friend who also talks and wears green flowered swim trunks? Winnie the Pooh has never worn pants, walks around all day in nothing but a red shirt. Barney is a big goofy purple dinosaur who sings songs and dances. Just about every superhero out there wears tight spandex that—if worn by actual human beings—wouldn't leave much of anything to the imagination, except for Wonder Woman who wears a fairly revealing bikini. And we haven't even discussed Tinky Winky.

I started writing about this, and now I'm tired just thinking about it. (If you'd like to read a great column by Mark Morford that ran on SFGate.com, I don't know how long it will be active, but go here: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/gate/archive/2005/01/26/notes012605.DTL).

I was so frustrated by the issue, I went out and bought a Patrick Star beanie baby a while back. He hangs out on my desk at work, with his wide-eyed, one-toothed, grinning, happy expression. He makes me smile. He puts me in a good mood. He reminds me of youthful enthusiasm.

Gee, what an evil, corrupting cartoon star.

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